Fart Friendly Family

My Chicago grandchildren live in a very healthy and happy home with their mother and father. And these three little boys, ages 5, 7 and 9 have a beautiful way of teaching "Grampy" some important lessons about life.

They live in a fart-friendly family.

NOT SO in the house where my kids grew up. If you had been present in the room when my kids were small and one would pass gas with a noise, you would have seen me frown at her, wrinkle my brow and shake my head from side to side. My action gave her the message, "THAT was NAUGHTY."

Same with bowel movements when they were being potty trained. While I do not recall what I actually did at the time, my guess is that I taught my kids that their bodily functions, even in the bathroom were NOT OKAY. I probably made unpleasant faces or pinched my fingers over my nose when they were "doing their business" as I called it.

We used code words to describe needing to go to the bathroom. While my grand children in the fart-friendly family might say, "I have to poop," and "I need to pee," my own kids were taught corney code words, such as: "I have to do number two." Or, "I have to GO BIG." Etc.

And just today, in a conversation about these little grandsons this very subject came up. And my attorney daughter confided that even at 44 years old, she has such a hang-up about her bodily functions that she "never-never-never passes gas if anyone is within a hundred yards." She laughed and blushed as she said this.

So I asked my son about his childhood recollections of "bathroom stuff."

"Dad, when I was a teen ager I thought that girls never even needed to go to the bathroom. Maybe they just combed their hair in there. I kindof knew that my sisters pee'd because I could hear them once in awhile. I really wondered about it. And I decided that females just never did things that boys did, like farting or defacating."

I was astonished. I suddenly got-it that I had taught my kids that their bodily functions were something to be ashamed of. Shaming them had not been a conscious intention but that was the message they got from me, one way or another. I had inadvertently taught them that their bodies were shameful, that their humanness was somehow flawed, that there was something wrong with them. I felt sick at this realization.

So today I am wondering what YOU teach YOUR KIDS about their bodies. About bodily functions. Are YOU inadvertently SHAMING YOUR KIDS the way I did? Do you use code words? Do you want them to grow up ashamed of part of their bodies? HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT?

xoxo Dad